Sunday, April 01, 2012 2:46 PM
the waves of disgust wash over repeatedly with the grey and blue fingers of light playing across the gaping hole disgust and disbelief yes disbelief that despite everything in spite of all that had been read all that was known the situation had come down to this disgust and disbelief and that tantalising promise that those feelings would disappear with the simple act washed away in the flow that was to come if only but no was it fear or just plain rationality whatever it was the feelings were here to stay directed inwards and outwards projection and internalisation or was it subjugation it was always easier to play with words then face those primal urges to disperse unpleasant feelings cowardice yes cowardice nothing more than the fear of losing what was already lost and that downward spiral into a textbook case literally blue and grey that was the colour of the textbook no it doesnt really matter when you think about it oh the second person again its always safer offering that degree of impersonality but who am i fooling that in the end it was just the blue grey wash of light over that darkness that promised to bring away all that disgust at him at her at she at me abstraction never really helps does it just another barrier and fence in the never ending fortifications in the hope that someone something will tear it down but really theres nothing inside dont you see everything was in the barrier and nothing was left to invest in the palace within an empty glass cage
it is easier to just be angry
