i realised that no matter what i tell myself, whatever arguments and debates i formulate, whatever evidence i find, i can never refute the fact that i love you.

but you probably don't realise

and i only have myself to blame

should i continue with my original plan? if i do, that means that i still can't talk to him or be too nice to him as jill says that i'll only be giving him false hope and i don't want to do that as i know the feeling of being lifted to great heights only to be pushed straight down the ravine. i can see treetops! yet i miss him alot. seeing him today just simply left me overwhelmed with feelings, all that memories and past feelings cannot be forgotten just like that. and it probably doesn't help that i still have feelings for him.

i'm really happy that hs is together with lyd now. they're really cute and sweet together. thank you to the two of you for reminding me that love does exist in this world between a guy and a girl and it's not all just a mixture of hormones and i-don't-know-what-else.

really disillusioned about the concept of love now. can a person love another so dearly but still contrive to lie to her?

i don't know
i don't even know for sure if you do love me
but i guess that's an unfair statement on my part

but i do know
that i love you

and that's the only thing i'm sure of

can someone take this burden off my heart?

all i want is to lie on your shoulder for the rest of my life
forever and ever

is it all that hard?

专属天使; Tank

我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤

小小的手掌厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

要不是你出现我一定还在沉睡
绝望的以为生命只有黑夜

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

at peace with God and man
i hope
i'll try anyway

give me the courage to show you
you are not alone!

going out with xiao er zi tml after choir to counsel him. heh. poor him. girlfriend probs. maybe we really are not ready for relationships at this age.
i'm just very happy that he still remembers that he has me to confide in.
heard from kor that he's not very popular in his class. sigh.
hope that what little i can do can cheer him up

there really are too many sad and depressed and emo people nowadays.

guess we all need strength to pull through difficult times
and since we want to pull through them, we might as well go through them smiling and happy instead of frowning and sad right? and anyway frowning increases the number of wrinkles on your face. lol.

i command everyone to smile right now!
hahahaha.
the world's not that bad(:

hana ga hiraku to yuu nowa,
hana ga shinu, koto deshou ka?

When a flower blooms,
Does it mean it is going to die?
The end of a life is beautiful
I feel that way for a moment.

When a flower blooms,
I sit facing the flower,
and I think about it's life.

beautiful lines from the song hana. and it really speaks volumes to me.
ahh i really should not be emo. haha. be happy girl! you can do it!

smile!((:

On my own

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head.

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone, I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me for ever and forever

And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone, the river's just a river
Without him the world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me his world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known!

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own.

i've grown to love choir even more

smile

VJ Choir
Gold with honours;

no man is an island

(:

just which is the real you?

let's stop playing at masquerade
it may be pretty to look at but it's only a facade
can love come through?
can feelings come through?

and help me make a decision
point me in the way to go

flip the coin for me
or maybe not
i don't like fate

hear my prayer, o Lord

i don't know what to do anymore.
i just want to escape from it all.

No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Say you'll love me ev'ry waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from you solitude.
Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.
Say the word and I will follow you.
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.
Say you love me,
You know I do.
Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Anywhere you go let me go too
Love me,
that's all I ask of you.

can you lend me your shoulder?
i need to cry

You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.

Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.

The situation at this time is one of considerable distress. You feel trapped and you are looking for some way out. You can find solace in the arms of someone who cares so long as there is no long-term emotional involvement.

From every direction there appear to be unwarranted restrictions on your freedom of action and this is producing considerable stress. You're really looking for independence and freedom from any restriction and therefore avoiding any obligations or anything which might prove hampering. You are being subjected to considerable pressures and you would like nothing better than to escape from them but you tend to lack the necessary strength of purpose to succeed in this. Whichever way you turn you are being frustrated. You need to be free to do your 'thing' in your own way.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

____________________

hmm..

guess i'll just take things as they go?

and thank you to all for the wonderful advice you've given me over the past few weeks
thank you for putting up with my moodiness and whining and all that
i'm much better now(am i?) so thank you very much
love you all

i'll be a much happier person now(:

shall keep in mind danny's advice:

sing not because you want to win a competition or get into the elite
sing because you love singing
sing because you can sing
sing because you want to show the world your love for singing
show the world the beauty in your music

thanks lots danny!
i'll always remember this little paragraph(:

and jerrold:

the harder it gets, the wider you smile

yupp! i'll always remember your spastic smile to accompany this too!

isabelle:

love doing what you do and you will do well at it

how true. words of wisdom from spastic girl!

and of course sheng chow's wonderful piece of advice:

DON'T BE IMPULSIVE.

hahahaha!

thanks alot guys!(:

just too many things happening at the same time
crashing down on me
but i'll trust in the Lord to lead me through this troubled time
for He is my strength and my comfort
He will always be here for me
thank you Father in heaven

and now i'm in the same group as you

what should i do?

i'm in syf choir

i know this is really sudden. it came as a shock to me too
much as i want to celebrate finally being part of the elite, i'm not happy with the way i got in
getting in due to someone else's wrongdoing?
not that i think they were particularly wrong anyway
and this doesn't do anything to lessen my guilt on not being able to sing well

sigh
the world is just so unperfect

maybe i should let go.



but i don't know anymore.

sigh. can someone help me decide?

today the lt was just so crazily cold. and silly me wore shorts and forgot my jacket. like wow. i was just standing there becoming a human ice block, shivering from head to toe and my teeth were chattering away. it's at times like these when i really miss ylynn for practical reasons. but of course i miss ylynn alot more and not for silly reasons like these. and anyway victor lent me his jacket even though he was cold. heh. so nice right? lol.

okay i should stop being such a bimbo. let me draw a line
____________________

now for the reality check. victor is a flirt. let's just face that. so there's no point in going aww so sweet when he does things like that. maybe if it was one of the class guys then it'll be worth it saying stuff like that. but not for victor. so wake up and stop thinking about him!

rahh.

rhoda
3o1o91
nus

fashion-amour

love(:

maybe next time when i'm strong enough(:

none for the moment