it's a private sense of shame.
one so subtle, that it's rising up goes unnoticed.
welling up gently like the gathering of dewdrops,
it strikes: dripping off the leaf,
falling,
hurling,
hurtling.
the tangent curve rising beyond imagination, barely separated from the asymptote, spinning
out of control.

maybe you don't notice it
but i do
cos i have to live with it

and things have changed.
i have changed.

and i don't like it one bit.

maybe it's time to take a break

and thank God i have you darling.
love you to bits and pieces and microscopic segments and miniscule parts(x
my lovely jilly wong!

<3

i'm afraid.

really.

i don't want the doors to close again. don't want to shut anyone out anymore. don't want to start craving independence again. don't want to lose that connection.

cos alot of things can happen within ten days.

especially with me. i realise.

and you do realise that my period's approaching.

and i'm just giddy with anxiousness

will you like what i got you? >.<

it's really quite nerve wrecking

what did you get for me anyway?

and i'm just so tired of people dictating my life, of refusing to listen out to my arguments and my viewpoints
like can't you people just come down to my level every now and then and see how i perceive the world?
i know i'm just too immature and narrow minded to try and understand how the world really works
all i know is the little slice of life that i have been exposed to, the life that i'm experiencing, filled with my expectations, my feelings, my loves
much as i know i shouldn't just muddle round my own little self absorbed world, fear of the big world outside overwhelms
can i not leave my coconut shell?
perhaps you could indulge me a little and understand my feelings since you have already mastered your fear and can see the big picture
lower your standards just a notch for poor little afraid me?

and i roll my eyes at you

rhoda
3o1o91
nus

fashion-amour

love(:

maybe next time when i'm strong enough(:

none for the moment