sometimes it's just so hard, knowing that i have been marked out, set aside, right before i've been given a chance, because of who i am and what i have gone through. is having cancer that important? i don't think anyone else feels the social stigma of the innocuous question: 'Have you been or are suffering from any major illnesses/major medical condition or physical impairment?' is it any of our fault that this has befallen us? whether from birth or along life's road. i don't think it's right that we should be marked out in this way, even before we apply for anything. because what difference would it make? we know our limitations, but we also know our strengths, and we will apply for what we can accordingly. is it necessary for people to judge us even before they've met us or seen us or even read our resume? it's at times like these when i feel as if my life has ended even before it has started, that i never will have a chance to be a 'young adult' or a 'youth' or a 'working adult'. i will never be an 'independent' because i've been marked out as a liability, someone who will work for as long as she can but will have to be given time off to go for medical appointments, recuperation and whatnot. and unknowingly, people will judge. they will make their decisions based on a medical statement and not my capabilities and it will affect their view of me, whether consciously or not. and it's horrible, knowing that the playing field is uneven, the odds stacked against me. and no one save us, this little marginalised group, will ever understand how that feels.
