i shouldn't be letting you affect me so much. you who walked out of my life more than a year ago. you who cut me off just cos you wanted to cut off all ties with church. you who turned your back on me. you who were my one best friend that year. you who i could trust completely. you who i could count on to cheer me up no matter what, to help me regardless of how crazy and dumb requests i made. you who were my beam of sunshine when i was alone walking the knife edge and you came up and took my hand and walked with me back to safety.
i should be happy that you're happy now. she's good for you. even though i don't know her but you're happy and that's all that matters.
i'm happy for you my once-upon-a-time-friend.
i shouldn't have intruded into your life again. i shouldn't have had an outburst when things are already dead and gone. although i might never know what went wrong between us, what caused you to turn away from all you loved, what caused you to renounce your faith, what caused this chasm between us, i should treasure what memories we shared.
and i should be happy that you're happy now.
