Saturday, November 10, 2007 12:28 AM

i know i shouldn't be, for after all it's beyond your control, but i do feel disappointed. actually i wanted to put a little disappointed but that would be a lie. it's bleak black disappointment that stretches down into a bottomless pit that threatens to engulf me should i tip into it by accident. and the cliff i'm standing on is no safe haven either.
and i know that you know how i feel. and that you're probably feeling really horrid for it. and i really should stop being so silent and all cos it'll only make you feel worse and it isn't even your fault.
but i just can't help it.
was totally looking forward to spending a week with you in camp, seeing you hear God's Word and His message, hoping that you would somehow or rather come to believe.
maybe... my heart wasn't right with God. i don't know.
but thank you for today.