it's love ;

Tuesday, January 09, 2007 6:41 PM

wishing i could hear your voice again
knowing we must say goodbye

had a long good talk with jill today as we trawled through people's park centre looking for that elusive shop selling zips. we still didn't find it. but we found another shop anyway. haha. which is good.(:

and i realise that it makes no sense that i'm here alone torturing myself when all the rest are all above it already. it's just plain stupidity. so i shall be strong and forget. please let me have stm this time. lol.

and i told jill about the five years thing which i'm doing. i know that it probably won't happen but i don't care. i don't want to be a burden and even though i'll probably still be a burden in five years time but by then if the cancer hasn't returned, i'll be more safe than now. haha. though no one is really safe until they enter the coffin and people normally peg it at twenty years, but i can't wait that long and i can't expect him to wait that long especially since i'll be an old hag then. haha. so i guess five years should be enough? lol. though i really doubt if it will happen but there can be miracles and i'll just hope that my miracle will appear.(:

but of course five years is an extremely long period of time to wait so i shan't be selfish. ohwells. i sound like i'm contradicting myself but i'll just continue with this.

and, and, my super late new year resolution is to not be so over reliant and not be a burden. and not be selfish of course.

jill pointed out that my five year plan thingy was pretty selfish and i have to admit that i am selfish especially since i never really considered his point of view. sigh. so i shall be more understanding this year! or rather try to be cos it's hard to change but i must!

go me! and you(:

loved ;