Saturday, December 23, 2006 12:04 PM
i've decided to stop blogging so much in my other blog. just as well that i stopped at my 272nd post there. haha. yes 272 used to be my lucky number. hope that this time it helps too. haha. fine i'm not superstitious, but it's such a nice coincidence. haha.
i think
xiaxue's latest post is really inspiring. as in like, maybe i should do that too, with so many people against me, like why should i care? 轻易论定别人的价值的人是他们，why should i care? they're entitled to have their own opinions and i won't stop them from thinking that i'm some crazy bitch cos i know that i'm not.
but again, that's just self delusion simply because i know i care. alot. and nothing will ever change that fact cos i'm just too self concious. which is plain irritating cos it leaves me with no confidence. which is pathetic if you really think about it. i wish i can just ignore the rest of them and leave it at that. but i can't and i can't ignore that either. oh i just wish i had more courage.
and it's just so irritating when you realise that other people just can't see what you're going through.
i just wish my world was still like what i had always wanted it to be, nice and pink and fluffy. but that's not the case and never will be. so i'll just have to live with it.
easier said than done.
oh i must have been out of my mind to have come to this awful backstabbing community.
and i still don't know what i did and it's haunting me at night giving me bad dreams. i don't like the fact that they can affect me so much with hardly any effort and still be able to sleep well while i'm bearing the bad effects of it all.
and now i'm turning into a spiteful creature. wow. thanks.
