Friday, November 10, 2006 10:16 PM
i wish i could be more frank and put my feelings out on this blank screen. but somehow i can't do it. my brain which finds lit essays manageable cannot put my thoughts into words. language is indeed inaedequate. sigh. language please don't fail me.
i know i shouldn't have left you then. but i did leave you. and what's done is done and cannot be reversed. but i have never stopped loving you. you were always on my mind despite of me trying to tell myself not to think of you. but it was too exhausting trying not to love you. so i gave up and decided to love you secretly. but i guess i was too obvious and you still knew. why is it that you are the only one who can read my heart so easily? even my parents find it hard to do so. and now that there is no reason for me to not be with you, i realised just how selfish i am. throughout all this i had never really considered your feelings, never really thought of what you were thinking about. how could i have been so selfish. and now, now that i thought i might atone for it, i have to courage to face you. and yet you somehow understood without me telling you and said that you would just be good friends with me. i am such a horrible person. sorry, i really am.
sorry.
