Sunday, October 15, 2006 6:44 PM
sometimes, when i look at all that i've done, i wonder about the extent of my stupidity. people can't change. they just can't be changed. and you can never protect them. protection is impossible, just an ideal dreamt up one day by someone not yet tainted by the world. you can never offer protection and can only hurt yourself in the process of trying to protect your loved ones.
have you ever looked up at the sky and wondered about it's blueness? how it could be so wonderfully blue yet so cold and empty at the same time? well, maybe that's only for me. cause everything's been empty since you've been gone. and i know it's my fault and that only makes things worse.
i talked to ylynn on saturday where we wasted seven hours of our lives away sitting on a couch and staring at random people at the concourse during open house. and she told me that her ex-classmates which are your ex-classmates too, duh, didn't like you anymore because you've changed. you've changed into someone who's just so emo and refuses to stop 钻牛角尖. and it hurt. cos i realised that you're like this because of me. i don't want you to lose your friends over me. can't you just walk away and stop thinking about me? i don't want you to be hurt anymore. it hurts me to see you hurt and i just wish i could take all the hurt and hate in your heart away. i wouldn't mind bearing it for you.
sigh. just what have i done?
