Wednesday, October 04, 2006 7:24 PM
i really really want to message you. but i can't. and i shan't. why break 3 months of abstinence? i can't let my careful and painstakingly built up un-correspondance break down just like that. i can't let you have any hopes on me, see? so it's just me talking to my stuffties again.
cramps hurt. i wish i wasn't born a girl so i won't have to endure this irritating monthly pain. it just gets worse and worse. mummy says it's because my body is too weak. sigh. i must be strong! not just mentally but physically too. which is really very hard since being strong mentally uses up alot of physical strength and being strong physically can't just be influenced by mental strength alone. so i can't really be strong both ways at the same time. maybe after i'm well again, but not now. i just tire out too easily.
i don't feel like studying. people are burning out. i'm burnt out. that's the main difference i guess. just can't get myself to study. sigh. it's only been three days girl! go go go study! but somehow the sight of all my notes doesn't seem so intimidating anymore. do i care if they topple and fall?
sigh sigh sigh. i must study! cos i don't really wish to take the r papers though i know it probably is inevitable at the rate i'm going. SIGH.
actually i love being a girl except for the cramps part. haha. i love being given the right to whine and whine and whine. haha. actually i don't whine that much. it's quite irritating. haha. but i love all girly stuff. and giggling. and talking in high pitches. and shrieking. and acting bimbotic. and did i mention clothes? haha.
oh that reminds me. while i was battling out my cramps during the last few minutes of the chinese paper, (they started much earlier but i managed to 忍 till i finished. see? i'm strong. lol.) i was designing quite a few outfits in my head. which signals the start of a frantic rush to save up and a thorough scouring of shops both online and offline. walala. i hope
cream still has that brooch.
