Excerpt from Tatiana's Dream

So near the precipice, drawn onward,
Before I plunge to my own destruction,
Oh, let me hope, however blindly!
Oh, let me taste the wine of rapture!
I down the fatal draft, sweet potion
That wakens longing and desire.
His face, his form I cannot flee;
Onward my tempter beckons me,
I follow where my tempter beckons me.

To you I write, and why say more?
Does not the fact speak plain enough?
My heart I place within your power
To crush to bits with a rebuff.
Yet if you feel, however slight,
A drop of pity for my plight,
You'll not disdain this darkest hour.

In vain I've struggled at concealing,
Vowed never to confide
The pain past hope of healing,
Bitter shame, loss of pride.
Within my heart until it turned to dust
My secret I would hide, forever buried.

But ah! The tempest tears apart my very soul;
The raging fire has spread beyond control.
For good or ill, I must!
I must express my feeling.

Our distant door why did you choose to cross?
At peace, in quiet isolation,
I never would have felt the loss
Nor shed a tear of thwarted passion.
Once past the years of green emotion,
I would be satisfied -- who knows? --
In course of time to wed another,
To live content as wife and mother,
As tranquil as the river flows.

Absurd! No, all my life for you I've waited;
Since time first began have I been yours.
By God on high was I created
To love you as long as life endures.

Blessed in a dream did I rejoice,
For there I saw your image clear,
Warm eyes to me already dear,
And heard the music of your voice.

A dream? No dream, I'll tell you why
My sorrows had you not befriended?
Were you not present in my prayer?
Were not to you my arms extended
When to the poor and sick I tended?
Were you not there?

Soft, from the limpid dark appearing,
Did you not whisper words endearing
To comfort me in time of need?
A dream enchanted, pure and golden,
Am I not much to you beholden?
My prince upon a snow white steed!

Are you my hope, my preservation,
Or evil serpent of temptation?
Resolve my doubt, oh love, reply!
Oh, tell me if I go misguided,
My dream a fair but phantom lie,
If we must tread on paths divided

Be as it may, my hopes and fears,
My life entire I've here imparted.
Do not betray these burning tears;
On you I now rely
To keep my secret guarded.

Consider how along am I,
So far from human understanding.
From sheer fatigue I'm nearly fainting;
Condemned to silence, I would die.
I can but wait for your reply,
Some indication

A word from you decides my fate;
That single word I now await,
The hope that heals my heart,
Or ends my dream in desolation

I close, but dare not even read.
Oh, be not angry or disgusted!
In fear, and yet in faith, I plead:
Receive the heart to thee entrusted.

i think i'm going crazy. but tatiana's dream really is a wonderful poem. eugene onegin rocks! haha. russia has such talented people.(: